It's All Scientifically Proven
So far in life I have had a thoroughly unambitious *four* life goals. These were so unambitious in their particular aims that I have already achieved two, taking my projected life expectancy down to 38. The third goal is to complete a round-the-world trip, like my parents infamously did back in the late 80s; more on that another time. The fourth is the toughest of them all: to buy, with my own money, a campervan.
Oh yes. You may laugh. You may label me 'a dreamer' or 'a charlatan'. You may say 'No-one's bought a campervan round these hyar parts for years'. But I say, 'I won't have to stay in these parts. I'm gonna live in a home that MOVES.'
Campervans offer all kinds of social, societal and societological advantages. Studies have shown that campervan living increases happiness, improves health, and reduces crime. When campervans were introduced into Durham in 1998 homicide rates reportedly dropped by 500%. A decline in campervan use in Iceland in 2010 was significantly correlated with increased volcanic activity. Campervans have been shown time and time again to be faster than any other man-made vehicle apart from Air Force One, which it itself a kind of flying campervan for the supremely powerful.
One of my favourite moments in the summer last year was when I encountered two campervan owners at the beach and they let me explore their campervan. They had a spotless CV - kitchen area, double bed folding down into a table, shower AND toilet, table, and 3 years' work experience at GCHQ. They also had little blinds that they could pull down over the windows so that they could sleep in it anywhere without people kicking them out, it being the tragedy of campervans these days that you can't really just pull up anywhere and stay the night.
I made it through Easter without being sick, and today me and mam went for a walk in the woods. It was a beautiful day, and a bit poignant, because by the time I'm next there there's every chance that the development currently sweeping across town will have destroyed the whole area. I went ahead and, as is my custom, found a big bridge under the bypass to sing in, which graffiti informs me is called 'Bailey's Bridge'. It was supremely resonant so I yodelled for a bit and then went on my way. When I came back I was amazed to discover that my mum had actually found a sofa in the woods, so we sat there for a whole. Surrounding it were all the remnants of a long-past fun night in the forest: bottles and the charred remains of a big old fire. Nice of them to leave the chair, I thought.
I'm a bit sad to be leaving home to head back to Cambridge. There are three things I'll miss in particular: 1) the fam, obviously, and the cat, who got in a dramatic face-off with mysterious three-legged cat today; 2) the view from my desk, which is far nice than anything I get in Cam; and 3) having the TV. It's amazing how relaxing the last thing can be, and I barely watch any in Cambridge. It's so nice just being able to switch off and watch whatever's on while you eat, at the end of the day and so on. I've never really got in to watching TV online - nowhere near as fun or relaxing! And then there's just the feel of sitting in my chair at home: I sometimes think that at Cambridge they deliberately make the chairs uncomfortable so that you can only ever work. It's one of the reasons I filched an armchair from the skip at the ADC theatre last term. I know for a fact that they bring out double beds when they do Bed and Breakfast in the holidays and then take them away for when the students came back (a true story!).
So anyway I gave up this evening and decided to watch some stuff on TV. Doc Martin (probably my favourite show - I've visited the place where it was filmed!) was on, so I watched that, and then I watched a documentary about Morecambe and Wise. They are still the funniest double act I've ever seen, and Eric Morecambe in particular is probably the funniest man who has ever lived. Martin Clunes narrated the documentary!
Just a short one today. So long!
RJLF
Oh yes. You may laugh. You may label me 'a dreamer' or 'a charlatan'. You may say 'No-one's bought a campervan round these hyar parts for years'. But I say, 'I won't have to stay in these parts. I'm gonna live in a home that MOVES.'
Campervans offer all kinds of social, societal and societological advantages. Studies have shown that campervan living increases happiness, improves health, and reduces crime. When campervans were introduced into Durham in 1998 homicide rates reportedly dropped by 500%. A decline in campervan use in Iceland in 2010 was significantly correlated with increased volcanic activity. Campervans have been shown time and time again to be faster than any other man-made vehicle apart from Air Force One, which it itself a kind of flying campervan for the supremely powerful.
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| Something like this would do. |
I made it through Easter without being sick, and today me and mam went for a walk in the woods. It was a beautiful day, and a bit poignant, because by the time I'm next there there's every chance that the development currently sweeping across town will have destroyed the whole area. I went ahead and, as is my custom, found a big bridge under the bypass to sing in, which graffiti informs me is called 'Bailey's Bridge'. It was supremely resonant so I yodelled for a bit and then went on my way. When I came back I was amazed to discover that my mum had actually found a sofa in the woods, so we sat there for a whole. Surrounding it were all the remnants of a long-past fun night in the forest: bottles and the charred remains of a big old fire. Nice of them to leave the chair, I thought.
 |
| A sofa in the sun |
I'm a bit sad to be leaving home to head back to Cambridge. There are three things I'll miss in particular: 1) the fam, obviously, and the cat, who got in a dramatic face-off with mysterious three-legged cat today; 2) the view from my desk, which is far nice than anything I get in Cam; and 3) having the TV. It's amazing how relaxing the last thing can be, and I barely watch any in Cambridge. It's so nice just being able to switch off and watch whatever's on while you eat, at the end of the day and so on. I've never really got in to watching TV online - nowhere near as fun or relaxing! And then there's just the feel of sitting in my chair at home: I sometimes think that at Cambridge they deliberately make the chairs uncomfortable so that you can only ever work. It's one of the reasons I filched an armchair from the skip at the ADC theatre last term. I know for a fact that they bring out double beds when they do Bed and Breakfast in the holidays and then take them away for when the students came back (a true story!).
So anyway I gave up this evening and decided to watch some stuff on TV. Doc Martin (probably my favourite show - I've visited the place where it was filmed!) was on, so I watched that, and then I watched a documentary about Morecambe and Wise. They are still the funniest double act I've ever seen, and Eric Morecambe in particular is probably the funniest man who has ever lived. Martin Clunes narrated the documentary!
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| Port Isaac a.k.a Portwenn. Everyone should watch Doc Martin!! |
Just a short one today. So long!
RJLF
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