Return of the Blog
Hello all. After a lengthy old exams hiatus, I am now back writing - hopefully for good this time!!
What happened, I hear no one ask at all. In short, studying for the Part 1 section of the History degree at Cambridge is sort of like running a marathon, except instead of a marathon you have to run 3000 miles, and you aren't allowed shoes, and you have to memorise an impossible amount of information about dead people (and maybe like 1 person who's in their '90s).
Bloody hell! One of the most difficult things I have ever done. I started revising about 2 and a half months ago (when I started this blog, which was partly designed as a way to switch off from work), but there's so much STUFF to learn that you come out the other end still feeling as though all you have had time to do is scratch the surface. It is a deeply frustrating process, especially because the great fear that despite your preparation things will all come to nought hangs over you like the aura of total humiliation hangs over the recently re-elected Member of Parliament for Maidenhead.
But you do learn things, between the frustrations and the fears and the boredom and the blog posts. I'll be glad to be rid of some things, but my interest in History remains largely unscathed. I still hate exams, however, and I await the 28th when I get to find out if this hatred is justified.
I think it is. I don't think I've ever found anything more stressful. Consequently, I practically ate myself to death (working on that in the weeks to come) and had to resort to buying a Sonic the Hedgehog toy from the Build-A-Bear Workshop and carrying it around, after an article I read about using objects to combat one's anxieties. Naturally this made me look absolutely ridiculous to everyone at Christ's, but they already knew I was ridiculous, so fuck 'em.
Two of my exams I really did think I would actually fail. This did not happen (I think!), though I'm not totally convinced this wasn't just because I was exceptionally lucky. I would have been so gutted if I hadn't been able to do the American one, because that is almost certainly my favourite. Next year will be easy, with more coursework and fewer impossible exams.
It was an isolating term, too, especially in the last two weeks. The problem with everyone being shoved together in Christ's is that tensions run high everywhere, and one person's troubles can just reinforce those of other people. If you're worried about your own fears infecting other people, then you end up steering clear of other people, and that's no good at all! There really isn't much to talk about either, because people's calendars are so completely uneventful. I almost (but not quite!) wish I'd been in a show. And coming out the other end, you're suddenly without any compass to guide you and, if you've had a difficult time, feeling a bit puzzled, a bit out-of-sorts, and wanting to spend a bit more time on your own.
To-do lists are my usual saviour in such situations. When you suddenly don't have a fixed schedule, it's good to have bullet-points of jobs to do, things you can enjoy, and points for self-improvement, which is what I've been putting together over the last couple of days. I have this massive tick about not 'relaxing constructively', which has to be the screwed-up approach of a workaholic, but it's just the way I function. I want to use this summer to better myself in every way I can, to make concrete gains in spheres beyond my desk. Running's back on the agenda, which is great, I'll be cooking more (and more healthily) and reading more fiction. I'm also obviously writing again, prompted today by the fact that the friends who I was planning on meeting this evening disappeared into the ether and never messaged me ever again, forcing me to return home to write.
So that's where I'm currently at. I don't think the end of exams has actually sunk in.
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But it's not all horribleness and drudgery. After my exams ended I headed back home to vote, happy in the knowledge that Cambridge was quite unlikely to be a shock Tory gain. But I wasn't especially confident; like everyone else I was expecting a big ol' Conservative majority - and let's face it, we progressive young 'uns haven't exactly been reassured by the elections over the last few years which, I imagine, will amount to *the* politically formative period of our lives.
But boy oh boy, was I wrong. Someone mentioned to me today that the exit poll for the election was pretty much the same as two years ago, but it's amazing what context can do. I remember the disappointment then, and I went straight to bed after I saw it two years ago - this time, though, I was mightily intrigued, and I not only then stayed up but stayed up until 6 in the morning so amazed was I at the results coming on. OK, so Labour did not win - but they DID win in some of the most extraordinary constituencies. Ipswich, Kensington, Canterbury of all places - who'd have thought that Jezza could win in these places? Canterbury has NEVER been Labour!
I had my doubts about who to vote for early on, actually. I, like so many others of my generation, had an extremely strong position on the EU referendum, and I was always a little disappointed with Jezza's passive acceptance of the referendum result (yes, I'm happy to contest democratic referendum results, for reasons that it would be far too lengthy to relate to talk about in this post). But on the other hand, I was enthused by Corbyn from the very beginning - I saw him talk in Colchester during his initial leadership campaign, and I had the odd thought the other day that I've known of Jeremy Corbyn longer than I've known pretty much all of my uni friends. I cannot overstate the joy with which I saw the predictions of pundits, the fearmongering of the tabloid press, and the naysayers within the Labour party itself proved totally wrong about Corbyn's electoral potential.
Some people are calling it 'the revenge of the young', though I don't think that's the whole story, and it hope it doesn't continue to be like that anyway. I genuinely believe Corbyn's Labour is capable of creating a Britain that's better for all, and is not just based (and shouldn't be) on courting young idealists. The way that Britain treats its elderly is an issue which concerns me more and more, for instance, and we as young people should all care a huge deal not just for our own position but for those who have lived and breathed so much more upon this earth. We may differ from many of them politically (though it would be hugely reductive to suggest that the divide is THAT sharp), but they deserve our respect; besides, the end comes to us all eventually, and it's extraordinary that given the last years of life are something we all go through that period still remains a neglected interest of politicians. Labour, I am confident, is far better placed to find bold solutions to the problems facing our elderly, and you only need to look at the Tory social care debacle during the campaign to see why.
Pinning your affiliation to a particular party is always a tricky business. There are several problems with strict party allegiance: the fact that parties change; the fact that circumstances change, and parties lose their relevance; the fact that we all ought to be intellectually humble about how confident we can be that any one perspective is the 'right' approach. Now, however, Labour needs our help more than ever, and for that reason I am (unless I change my mind after this post is written, and unless I can't afford it) going to join the party. The Conservative-DUP deal is a disaster, as far as I'm concerned, and we have to find an alternative. If there is another election, there is no way that I won't be out there fighting for Labour's vision of society.
Some people think political difference is not something to be discussed, especially when friends about you disagree. This view is totally mistaken, in my opinion. It's a means to shut down important conversations, to brush under the carpet views which are intellectually or morally indefensible or which the individual concerned lacks the backbone to defend. Naturally I have friends with whom I disagree profoundly about the world, but I will never let them off the hook if I think their views are in need of changing. It's everyone's duty to share their views with other people, to engage in an active and collaborative process of thinking when it comes to these issues.
Anyway, the blog is now genuinely back, so I hope (assuming my loyal readers have not switched to reading the popular magazine Pancakes are Forever) to write to you all again soon.
RJLF
What happened, I hear no one ask at all. In short, studying for the Part 1 section of the History degree at Cambridge is sort of like running a marathon, except instead of a marathon you have to run 3000 miles, and you aren't allowed shoes, and you have to memorise an impossible amount of information about dead people (and maybe like 1 person who's in their '90s).
Bloody hell! One of the most difficult things I have ever done. I started revising about 2 and a half months ago (when I started this blog, which was partly designed as a way to switch off from work), but there's so much STUFF to learn that you come out the other end still feeling as though all you have had time to do is scratch the surface. It is a deeply frustrating process, especially because the great fear that despite your preparation things will all come to nought hangs over you like the aura of total humiliation hangs over the recently re-elected Member of Parliament for Maidenhead.
But you do learn things, between the frustrations and the fears and the boredom and the blog posts. I'll be glad to be rid of some things, but my interest in History remains largely unscathed. I still hate exams, however, and I await the 28th when I get to find out if this hatred is justified.
I think it is. I don't think I've ever found anything more stressful. Consequently, I practically ate myself to death (working on that in the weeks to come) and had to resort to buying a Sonic the Hedgehog toy from the Build-A-Bear Workshop and carrying it around, after an article I read about using objects to combat one's anxieties. Naturally this made me look absolutely ridiculous to everyone at Christ's, but they already knew I was ridiculous, so fuck 'em.
Two of my exams I really did think I would actually fail. This did not happen (I think!), though I'm not totally convinced this wasn't just because I was exceptionally lucky. I would have been so gutted if I hadn't been able to do the American one, because that is almost certainly my favourite. Next year will be easy, with more coursework and fewer impossible exams.
It was an isolating term, too, especially in the last two weeks. The problem with everyone being shoved together in Christ's is that tensions run high everywhere, and one person's troubles can just reinforce those of other people. If you're worried about your own fears infecting other people, then you end up steering clear of other people, and that's no good at all! There really isn't much to talk about either, because people's calendars are so completely uneventful. I almost (but not quite!) wish I'd been in a show. And coming out the other end, you're suddenly without any compass to guide you and, if you've had a difficult time, feeling a bit puzzled, a bit out-of-sorts, and wanting to spend a bit more time on your own.
To-do lists are my usual saviour in such situations. When you suddenly don't have a fixed schedule, it's good to have bullet-points of jobs to do, things you can enjoy, and points for self-improvement, which is what I've been putting together over the last couple of days. I have this massive tick about not 'relaxing constructively', which has to be the screwed-up approach of a workaholic, but it's just the way I function. I want to use this summer to better myself in every way I can, to make concrete gains in spheres beyond my desk. Running's back on the agenda, which is great, I'll be cooking more (and more healthily) and reading more fiction. I'm also obviously writing again, prompted today by the fact that the friends who I was planning on meeting this evening disappeared into the ether and never messaged me ever again, forcing me to return home to write.
So that's where I'm currently at. I don't think the end of exams has actually sunk in.
 |
| 'Man Proposes, God Disposes' by Landseer. Make of it what you will, but I needed a picture to accompany this post, and this was already on my comp. |
But it's not all horribleness and drudgery. After my exams ended I headed back home to vote, happy in the knowledge that Cambridge was quite unlikely to be a shock Tory gain. But I wasn't especially confident; like everyone else I was expecting a big ol' Conservative majority - and let's face it, we progressive young 'uns haven't exactly been reassured by the elections over the last few years which, I imagine, will amount to *the* politically formative period of our lives.
But boy oh boy, was I wrong. Someone mentioned to me today that the exit poll for the election was pretty much the same as two years ago, but it's amazing what context can do. I remember the disappointment then, and I went straight to bed after I saw it two years ago - this time, though, I was mightily intrigued, and I not only then stayed up but stayed up until 6 in the morning so amazed was I at the results coming on. OK, so Labour did not win - but they DID win in some of the most extraordinary constituencies. Ipswich, Kensington, Canterbury of all places - who'd have thought that Jezza could win in these places? Canterbury has NEVER been Labour!
I had my doubts about who to vote for early on, actually. I, like so many others of my generation, had an extremely strong position on the EU referendum, and I was always a little disappointed with Jezza's passive acceptance of the referendum result (yes, I'm happy to contest democratic referendum results, for reasons that it would be far too lengthy to relate to talk about in this post). But on the other hand, I was enthused by Corbyn from the very beginning - I saw him talk in Colchester during his initial leadership campaign, and I had the odd thought the other day that I've known of Jeremy Corbyn longer than I've known pretty much all of my uni friends. I cannot overstate the joy with which I saw the predictions of pundits, the fearmongering of the tabloid press, and the naysayers within the Labour party itself proved totally wrong about Corbyn's electoral potential.
Some people are calling it 'the revenge of the young', though I don't think that's the whole story, and it hope it doesn't continue to be like that anyway. I genuinely believe Corbyn's Labour is capable of creating a Britain that's better for all, and is not just based (and shouldn't be) on courting young idealists. The way that Britain treats its elderly is an issue which concerns me more and more, for instance, and we as young people should all care a huge deal not just for our own position but for those who have lived and breathed so much more upon this earth. We may differ from many of them politically (though it would be hugely reductive to suggest that the divide is THAT sharp), but they deserve our respect; besides, the end comes to us all eventually, and it's extraordinary that given the last years of life are something we all go through that period still remains a neglected interest of politicians. Labour, I am confident, is far better placed to find bold solutions to the problems facing our elderly, and you only need to look at the Tory social care debacle during the campaign to see why.
Pinning your affiliation to a particular party is always a tricky business. There are several problems with strict party allegiance: the fact that parties change; the fact that circumstances change, and parties lose their relevance; the fact that we all ought to be intellectually humble about how confident we can be that any one perspective is the 'right' approach. Now, however, Labour needs our help more than ever, and for that reason I am (unless I change my mind after this post is written, and unless I can't afford it) going to join the party. The Conservative-DUP deal is a disaster, as far as I'm concerned, and we have to find an alternative. If there is another election, there is no way that I won't be out there fighting for Labour's vision of society.
Some people think political difference is not something to be discussed, especially when friends about you disagree. This view is totally mistaken, in my opinion. It's a means to shut down important conversations, to brush under the carpet views which are intellectually or morally indefensible or which the individual concerned lacks the backbone to defend. Naturally I have friends with whom I disagree profoundly about the world, but I will never let them off the hook if I think their views are in need of changing. It's everyone's duty to share their views with other people, to engage in an active and collaborative process of thinking when it comes to these issues.
Anyway, the blog is now genuinely back, so I hope (assuming my loyal readers have not switched to reading the popular magazine Pancakes are Forever) to write to you all again soon.
RJLF
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